Reflecting

It’s been about two months now since I’ve come home, I just turned twenty three days ago. I’m feeling very different. Coming home was hard, I didn’t readjust well to being treated like a kid again. In Prague I was independent and here it seems I can’t be even if I tried. As soon as I entered the country I felt this huge burden of the stupidity of our country. Something as simple as having to pay to get a cart for your luggage, that was free in every other country I went to and now I have to watch some old lady struggle with her luggage, sorry for ranting it’s just incredible how I also had better health care abroad than I do here. I’ve had the chance to taste a better way of living, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my trip to Paris and the bread/cheese I got to get from the markets. I think about my students and sometimes I get to talk to some friends that I made in Prague. If I had the choice to move there now, I would.

Watching the world from inside America again, I notice all the lies we’re fed, how terrible it really is to live inside this country right now. It’s idiotic. I’m not sure how I feel about staying after graduation, I honestly want to go back and take the job at the school that I was offered. Maybe I’ll study at Charles University once again.

Coming home

After the semester ended at Charles University, I stayed an extra three weeks to keep volunteering at the local high school. In those three weeks I felt I had built a life I would have been very happy carrying out and returning home to go to school to want to do what I was already doing at the high school seemed tedious. I knew I obviously had to come back home, but I would miss the students and the teachers I had gotten close to. Not to mention living in Prague was my actual dream come true. Traveling around Europe and seeing all these things I only dreamt of seeing made me feel so good inside despite how alone I was. Coming home gave me the worst anxiety actually; I didn’t feel like I had anything but my family to come home to (granted they’re great). I also don’t look forward to living in a country that is now ran by a dictator who is an obvious racist. I had lost an extreme amount of friends and support in general when I left to Prague. However, now I know I can leave again and that option is possible. I’m a better person in Prague, maybe that doesn’t exist and you are equally as good everywhere but I was happier there. At the end of my stay, I developed all my film and it was so nice to see my time through photos. Some moved me which sounds pretentious, but oh well. I went through so many stages while living abroad, I lived many different lives in that time. I grew up which is why I wanted to study abroad in the first place, I didn’t do it the way I wanted or planned, but I definitely changed.

Breaking stigmas about traveling alone & making friends abroad

Someone once said that traveling means nothing if you have no one to share the experience with. Well, that’s one of the most depressing things I’ve ever heard especially since almost all of my traveling has been done alone. I want to break that stigma that you need to travel with someone, that you need to make friends abroad. Traveling alone, living abroad alone, teaches you so much about yourself. Maybe it’s things you don’t like, things you need to improve, but don’t ever let anyone tell you that traveling alone doesn’t mean anything. It may mean more than traveling with people, honestly it takes a lot to be able to spend 5 day alone in a country you’ve never been before. So, take that leap.

You learn to love yourself more, even if you think you aren’t. Making international friends is such an amazing feeling that shouldn’t be played down because making connections all around the world is something of value. But it’s easy to fall into this idea that you must make friends, hey you might not vibe with everyone around you and that’s fine, this is your time. Spend it with those who matter.

Backpacking Europe slowly, but surely :-)

Hey there, it’s been a while. This whole experience has been incredible and it’s flying by. I find myself saying, “write a blog post now” but my time abroad is fleeing and I want to take as much of it as I can.

It’s finals week here, well more the middle of finals which is crazy to think about because it feels like just yesterday I was sitting in my two week language course thinking, “this never ends” and now it’s ending too soon. Luckily for me, I’ll be staying an extra month to volunteer and I’m so thankful I was able to find a way to stay because once you’re here you don’t want to leave.

But let’s get to my title, one of the best things about studying in Prague is how central in Europe it is. This is a major advantage to traveling across Europe because it’s so easy to get to other countries for a very nice price. So far, I’ve visited:

  • Budapest, Hungary
  • Barcelona, Spain
  • Amsterdam, Netherlands
  • Berlin, Spain
  • (and this very weekend, TOMORROW in fact) Paris, France

it’s been my dream to do this, it’s such an amazing opportunity that I can’t even really believe that I’ve been to all these places that I’ve only ever looked at through photos. I will not say that some places were better than others, everyone has personal opinions, but some put me under this enchantment and I found it hard to leave.

It’s amazing seeing different cities, the people are the best. You can witness how the culture is in different places not even that far from each other. And even though NYC will be there when I come back, I find myself looking for it in the cities I visit. Berlin especially reminded me of NYC, it felt like home and if I could I would study abroad there next maybe.

It’s hard trying to express the amount of feelings that I’ve experienced. Seeing the Berlin wall, something that brought so much devastation to so many lives; biking around all of Amsterdam and the Van Gogh museum after years of dreaming of seeing it. Or walking through the city that inspired Gaudi and Picasso, I could cry because I spent my whole life learning about these amazing things that some never get to experience for themselves. So passing through historical cities like Dresden where you know how bad things once were, you feel humbled.

I travel alone, partially because I don’t mix well with others and because alone you can do anything you want whenever. I enjoy putting myself into a situation where the only option I have is to step out of my comfort zone, for instance I always try to talk to locals and get a sense of what the cities are really like, not just my tourist-y version of it. That’s what I would say is one of the most important things, get a sense for the true city and not the one made for tourists. Don’t spend your whole time on the phone taking pictures; take pictures of course but make actual memories.

As for traveling within the Czech Republic, this country is overall so charming and special. I’ve gone to Pilsen where the famous beer is made and I was able to get a tour of the brewery which taught a lot about the history behind the beer. I’ve also gone to Kunta Hora earlier in the semester and saw the famous Bone Church, I’ve seen a concentration camp town, and I’ve gone hiking in their Bohemian Paradise (Česky Raj). The hike was the most memorable so far because it’s truly a paradise for hikers and people who love forests. But when I went, it was pouring hard and hailing, so it makes for a funny story.

I should get back to working now, I’m not sure if anyone reads this, but if you’re like me and you’re incredibly anxious you want as much information as possible. I hope I can help.

On the Verge Again

I’d like to talk a little bit about the benefits of staying in school a little longer, especially as it relates to study abroad.

If the fear of losing time is a factor, screw it and do it.

I’ve been in school, with one or two semester-long breaks, for about eight years now. This was partly due to extenuating circumstances, partly my taking on a second major at New Paltz, and partly my decision to study abroad. I’ve watched three of my senior classes graduate without me, which has been a wee heartwrenching – that being said, being here longer has allowed me to make more connections with more students and artists, which in the theatre business will be a huge help!

Some of my fears about staying longer in order to study abroad included “But I’ll miss the chance to be involved with the SUNY New Paltz shows this semester!” and “I’ll only be a year older and a year further behind when I hit the streets as an actor – have I got the time to waste?” and “What if I’m just stalling?”

Well if Taraji P. Henson can move to California with a baby and just $700 at 26, and end up starring in Hidden Figures, I know it’s possible for me. And while I was sad to miss the New Paltz shows, I got a chance to see some incredible theatre and gain a foothold and understanding of another country. So trust me – it is not wasted time. Take the time you need to fully experience what you need to! Don’t rush, especially now that New York has made college so affordable for lower-and-middle-income students! Studying abroad is worth it – you get a chance to really take some time and get to know another country, develop your independence while enjoying the safety of an institution, and save money on such an experience. Not to mention in London many things are cheaper for under-25’s, and Brexit has (fortunately for us, less so for them) made it much more affordable for Americans to travel there. So take advantage of that.

Never let the pressures of society keep you from living your dreams. I am better equipped for the world now, because I took the time I needed to grow into myself and become a more prepared, well-rounded person. Have patience with yourself, even as you dare yourself to go further than you’ve gone before.

Now that I’m graduating, once I’ve worked my butt off for a bit, I’m finally going to take that road trip around the country that I’ve always dreamed of. Three weeks. Scared as hell. Can’t wait.

On the verge again.

#NPSocial #NPAbroad

If I Could Do It Again

About a year ago I found out for certain that I would be studying abroad in England. I could never have anticipated how this experience would broaden my sense of empowerment and understanding about how rich and enormous the world really is. Truth is, it only started a landslide of wanderlust – since that trip, I organized a group of schoolmates to travel to Louisville KY for several days, and I felt no reservations, no fears. Only a desire to get back on the road. Traveling is second nature to me, and no place seems too far to explore now. I plan to leave Upstate New York as soon as I can, find a new corner of the world to explore.

While my experience abroad is one of the fondest periods of my life, I learned that there are pros and cons to going there with friends, or as I did in my case, going to the same study abroad program that my boyfriend at the time was attending. Maybe this advice will help someone approaching a similar situation.

The pros were that when I got terribly homesick, as I did often especially after the 2016 U.S. Election, it was great to have someone I was very close to nearby so that we could relate and talk each other through it. It was especially helpful when I received the bad news from home that my dog died suddenly, to have someone who cared who could physically be there to give me a hug. Not to mention that I was terribly nervous about traveling outside of London alone, and having a traveling companion made me feel much safer and like I had someone special to share that experience with. And of course it was incredibly fun to explore a new place with a familiar face, to react together to the novelties we encountered, and to deepen the relationship through these adventures.

All of this being said, the cons have become clearer with time. The swathes of time I spent with him were times I didn’t bond as closely with new friends, unless we hung out with groups. It also became draining to be each others’ only vestiges of home when we were homesick for the whole home, friends, family, et al. The biggest con, of course, is that the relationship is over, and so now there is a keen sense of sadness and missing what I’ve lost when I look back at my million billion pictures of my time exploring English, Scottish and Irish castles and landscapes with someone who is now my ex. All of these memories are colored with him, making it sometimes pleasant but oftener very wistful to reflect. While his presence made everything more vibrant and meaningful at the time, and in no way do I regret sharing these moments with him, there were comparatively very few moments that I could call my own, and I feel regretful that I didn’t explore more as an independent person, or make myself more available to make new friends. I feel that my attention was always pretty evenly divided between the places we went, and the person I was exploring them with – and now, reflecting back, so are most of my memories.

If I could give advice to anyone studying abroad who might be doing the same program as a close friend or significant other, I would say really make sure to take a significant amount of your time doing your own journeys. Really, once a week is plenty for a date or hanging out with your American friend or partner – save time to bond with the people of the land, or get to know a place on your own terms. Ultimately, I think if you sojourn on your own study abroad program without knowing anyone at all, while it involves maybe a lot more bravery and discomfort, I imagine that no later shifts of relationship can take away the satisfaction that these memories give you. You will have given yourself entirely to a new place, and that place will not break up with you later.

All I know is that I am not quite done with the United Kingdom and Ireland – I plan on really taking some time with just me and them someday. Can’t come soon enough.

Remember that Studying Abroad is your time to get to know who you really are, when your home culture’s been pulled away. So don’t carry too much on your back with you. Letting go is not disrespectful – it’s giving those you love room to breathe. Brave the bracing wind a little. Those few moments that I did, that it was just me and the world, gave me a sense of aliveness that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

#NPSocial #NPAbroad

Study life

The semester has been going for about a month now and things are falling into place. Luckily I got into the classes I wanted and I’m thoroughly enjoying the material I’m learning as well. My classes are relatively small and we meet for 3 hours once a week. Because it is so long and full of information we take a small break. We are all foreigners in the classes, but most of the people are American. In New Paltz, there is a comfort that I know what is expected of me and that I can reach it. Here, I feel like I don’t know what the professors expect or want, I’m doing all my work but I’m never sure if it’s any good. I only have class Tuesday and Thursday so it really isn’t bad. For every class, we usually do a part of the day’s work outside in the field which is really nice. I feel like I’m learning the information differently; I supposed that’s possible because of the location. I’ve been going to museums and famous, historical locations. I’ve been learning about the time and history preserved all throughout Prague.

And the cherry on top of it all is the constant view I have from anywhere I turn.

Take the leap

We leave in a week. Its hard to believe I’m going at all. It doesn’t really set in fully before you go, like some part of your mind is waiting for you to wake up, like its some trick your brain decided to play. But as you pack your bags you realize its no joke, you’re going. You’re going far.

Its an exciting thought to be living on the opposite side of the world. All it takes is a little paperwork. It seems much harder than it is, everything so far especially the visa has been straightforward. I’ve made the journey before, all 14 hours of it. Its not as bad as you’d think, and it is completely worth the result. Japan is one of the most unique places you can visit and I can’t wait to return for this experience of a lifetime. So if you’re reading this and trying to decide if you should go, take the leap, it’ll be well worth it.

Follow this trip on instagram! @gallivanting_globetrotter