Pre-Departure Anxiety

It’s two weeks before I head out to New Zealand an I can feel the little girl in me bursting with excitement.

I always described my anxiety as a little girl stuck in my chest doing jumping jacks. At first, I thought she was a afraid. I realized that she is just excited for what’s to come.

After shifting my perspective from believing that I was anxious to excited, it has become much easier to get through my days. I’m not going to lie though, sometimes I randomly cry.. but I’m fine, I promise!

I guess it’s just the thought that I am about to be across the world… in a new country… by myself…..

Like….. who told me this was a good idea? Who said I was capable of living on my own for four months in a new environment?

I guess it’s the little girl in me.

The Land of Ice Chronicles: Adjustment 101 [The Party and The After-Party]

It’s Friday night and my hormones are raging. Tonight is the big night! Tonight is the night that I experience what the NIGHTCLUB on campus has to offer. I am beyond excited and I feel completely confident in the outfit I’m in. I’m wearing my tiara again and I feel and look like royalty. I walked to the stables club with the biggest smile on my face and a heart full of hope. Perhaps I’d meet my knight in shining armour at this shindig. Perchance I’d get to experience the feeling of someone else’s lips on mine (it’s been a while and mama wanted some sugar).

When I got to the stables centre, I saw people at every corner. Nobody was dancing but it still brought me joy to know that the room was full of opportunities to make new friends and meet people from all corners of the world. I specifically had my eye on a group of Japanese boys; I always tended to get along with Asians easily so the fact that there were some of them here brought me relief. Within minutes, I’d become immersed in conversation with this group of people; it was fantastic. One of the guys I met (Ko-Sato) had been there for a semester already and had somewhat morphed into an Irish Japanese man. He was honestly my favourite though. Dancing around with him and just talking to him reminded me of one of my best friends that I met at New Paltz.

After having spent a lot of time with Ko-Sato, I longed to meet more people and well try and seek a hot guy to dance with. That’s when I saw him; this caramel-coloured angelic being dancing in a corner. I went up and spoke to him and found out that he was actually born and raised Japanese with one of his parents being of American descent. The combination of the two ethnicities made a beautiful new form of species I low-key wanted to pounce on. Had me like:

Lucky for me, towards the end of the party, I did dance with the caramel-coloured Asian. We did kiss a bit and, yes, it was amazing to have my lips being stimulated again after 5 months of nothing. He was also just a really nice guy which made me happy. Before I left to go home, we exchanged information and he even said he wanted to hang out sometime outside of the club.

I smiled and said, “yeah, we should”. Then I was off to my home and screeching about the experience with my mom and my best friend from back home. I took this request of ‘hanging out’ to mean that this caramel angel actually wanted to date me; a thought that excited all of the cells in my body because I’d never really been on a date my entire 21 years of life.

I was intensifying everything for myself. THAT IS A BAD THING; NEVER AGAIN. I kept having all these daydreams and expectations of how it would feel to be on a real date for the first time. Wanna know what it was like? Sorry, I can’t tell you because


After messaging this guy to try and pick the date and location to hang out, I realised he was just like all the other men. All he wanted was a piece of ass.

Don’t get me wrong, normally that fact wouldn’t upset me at all. I mean I walked into the club hoping for a hot make-out session; guys walk into clubs expecting that to lead to a steamy one-night. But that ain’t my type of thing- I can kiss a guy and dance with him but that’s it. My body is a temple and I’m not ready for all the drama that comes attached to the loss of virginity. The reason why I was so mad at the realisation that this guy was just like all other guys was that of the way everything happened. When I was clubbing in Korea, the guys try to get you to leave the club and get busy so you know right away exactly what they want. This caramel devil in disguise was so gentle and his request to hang out seemed so innocent and lacking any sexual innuendos. So when I found out the truth, I was heavily disappointed.

This realisation didn’t come until Sunday though. So for a whole two days, I felt 100% adjusted to this country and its newness and vibrancy. For two whole days, I was happy enough to forget about my longing to be home. It was the first time since I’d been in Ireland, that I slept through the night with no worries or fear. Hence, when I did learn the truth, I was propelled back down into this bubble of homesickness, self-pity, and lowkey-depression.

I tried to be as positive as I could be though. Tomorrow would mark the start of classes so I had to at least try and maintain a positive attitude. And I was somewhat successful. I was, slowly but surely, re-adjusting to being a college student living on UL’s campus in Limerick, Ireland. I was just about comfortable with everything right before I contracted the flu.


Interested in learning what comes next?

Then, continue reading “The Land of Ice Chronicles”

“Your UK Visa Has Been Issued”

This is possibly the most glorious phrase I’ve ever heard (read). I don’t think it’s possible to describe in words the process I (and my wonderfully helpful father) have gone through in the past few months, mostly weeks, in order to procure this one single, but apparently eminently important, piece of paper. My first piece of advice to anyone planning on studying abroad is to understand the visa application process well enough that you’d be able to explain it, step-by-step, to someone else. My second piece of advice is START YOUR APPLICATION EARLY! Like, many months in advance. This will allow enough time for the many corrections you’re likely going to have to make.

*Anyway*, now that that’s finally taken care of just a mere twelve days before I leave for Huddersfield, I can finally relax and look forward to my trip instead of dread the possibility that it might not happen. The crazy part to me about my upcoming semester abroad is that I really don’t know what to expect. Since this is the first time in many years that New Paltz and Huddersfield are doing an exchange, both the students at the schools and the staff in the international offices don’t have as much knowledge on the programs as they would were they regular, semesterly exchanges. This is both exciting and somewhat anxiety-provoking. I know very little about University of Huddersfield itself, like what the vibe on campus tends to be, what the students are generally interested in, if the professors teach class (which I hear is sometimes optional??) with their underwear on their heads, etc. What I do know is that I’ll be taking mostly psychology classes in addition to one class on British culture, and that I’ll be living in a campus-owned flat with five other international students, including one from New Paltz, which is a converted insane asylum. At relaying this piece of information to my mother, I was given the response “Oh good, so you’ll feel right at home!” She just may be right.

Regardless of knowing or not knowing what to expect, I do know that this has literally been the longest summer of my life—mid/late May-early/mid September—and I am ready to leave it behind. Though it had its definite good, even great, times, my summer was also filled with a lot of stress, getting my heart broken by someone I really cared about, working a much less than thrilling job at Connecticut Muffin (this should be self-explanatory), a somewhat scary visit to New Paltz this past week, and generally not feeling like I did anything terribly productive. I am definitely ready to see what Huddersfield has to offer me.