(Written from 18 March, 1 month after arrival)
When I was a senior in high school, I remember stressing about leaving home to go to college. I wasn’t ready to leave home. I was still weak and hurting after only a year prior losing my mom to cancer. I couldn’t possibly do it, go out on my own and experience a new life, my life. I only barely found myself able to find the strength to leave high school for community college. I was still at home, still safe, still secure. Only, there were small things pushing me ever slowly toward independence and life in the adult world. Finding a job of my own free will rather than forced by my family. Slowly exploring the world around me with my new driver’s license and experiencing both the freedoms and chains that come with having a car. Spending time alone, even for an introvert like myself more than I would have liked, but discovering myself and the strength I had inside but until now never believed in.
Naturally, when 2 years of community college ended, I was a different man, changed and more able to take on the world. Of course, I still had my fear, my doubts of old when it came to truly be leaving home. But I had persevered then, why not at New Paltz? As it turned out, I was even more excited to spend the semester away and grow than I had thought. Not only was I ready for leaving the nest, I was flourishing in this new life. So it came as a shock, even to me, that I was now planning to take such a big risk as travelling to Australia. What I had at New Paltz I loved and was comfortable with. And now, for the first time since losing my mother, for the first time in years I had been genuinely happy and at peace, I was about to throw everything away for the unknown. This was too much, wasn’t it?
It now occurs to me that in a mere four weeks I have accomplished more than in four years of grief. Not to say I haven’t made great strides then: four jobs, a driver’s license, a high school and then associate’s degree. Even half a book written (one day, look for my name on the best seller’s list!) But I have proven to myself over these years, and especially over this single month, that I can accomplish so much more than I once thought I could. Here, I’ve discovered a new world and have learned how to craft it into something personal. Things as simple as learning what foods I do and don’t like, or how make a train ride or the walk home more enjoyable. I’ve found my favorite spots to write my book, times and routes to walk and explore, things to do with new found friends. I’ve learned that I not only can I survive away from home, ten thousand miles away from everything I knew, but that I can, in a way, make this a home.
In a month, I took my first commercial flight (to the other side of the world, mind you), and ended up in an undiscovered world but making my own. I found out I’m actually a decent cook (too bad I don’t eat more!) and learned how to budget and prioritize my money reasonably well along the way. Through trial and error I mastered how to navigate the city and public transportation, and on several trips realized why you can never be too safe on the Australian beach (jellies, rip tides, sunburn… ‘thankfully’ I’ve only experienced the latter). I’ve surfed, hiked in the bush, booked trips to Sydney and the Great Barrier Reef for April, survived being lost in the city at night, gone to horse races, made dinner for friends… All things that may not seem like much, but all things I never thought I could do before, until this trip.
And I continue to grow, as my mom would wish, discovering what it means to be Jon Kline and how my future lies ahead of me. I can only imagine, if the success I’ve had in this amount of time is so great, what more is to come from this? Maybe nothing. But I have to believe that my destiny lies ahead, and that slowly, I may be finally discovering it and unleashing my true potential.