(Written 12th June, two weeks remaining)
Like a good book, my time in Australia has seen its beginning as something intriguing, new, and fascinating. It has seen its rise: becoming accustomed to life in Melbourne, as a city, as independent, as a new world. The climax, of course, the giant adventures across this massive continent, taking me into fantastic and incredible new worlds and having an absolute blast doing so. But now, of course, we approach the denouement, the beginning of the end of this great adventure called Australia. Finals are done, classes over, and I now find I have about two weeks left here with no plans whatsoever. A good number of friends are already packing their bags, and soon enough I shall follow suit. 4 months in this world are seemingly slipping away as the reality of my life at home returns each day. But as any good story, there is always that plot-twist that keeps things interesting.
To be honest, a great part of me doesn’t want to go home. Some of me even resents it. Of course, I want to see my family again, I want to see them above everything else. I want to taste home-cooked food, drive my car, and take a walk to the falls with my family. But the other things I miss, I’ll have become used to again in two weeks. In two weeks, everything I idolise about home now will be ‘normal’ again. Maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe a little normal is what I need after so much time away, to get my head back in the game and on top of my world. But my question now is, what game am I playing? What does life back home mean for my future? What is ‘home’? What is the future?
Coming here has made me realise a lot. I’ve learned how wonderful life is, from the little things that make it comfortable (or not) to the big adventures you embark on and those you go on those adventures with. I’ve learned to take opportunities when they come to you, and to not hold back from things out of fear or uncertainty. I’ve seen that I am capable of living in a new world and conquering it, making it my own. In a great sense, this is home. And what I worry is, what if what I had here is it? The opportunities I’ve had, friends I’ve made, things I’ve done and places I’ve been have been surreal to me, like a great dream come true. But what if it is just a dream? I don’t want to lose that adventurous spirit that has compelled me to explore and see the world. I don’t want to lose the friendships I’ve made here and them all simply fade away over time. I don’t want to lose the opportunities I’ve had here, to change the world.
Australia wasn’t at all what I expected it to be. But I think, maybe it was better. Maybe this is what I needed it to be, from dumpy Footscray to the great friends I’ve shared many journeys and laughs with. But soon enough, all that will disappear and I’ll be back to ‘normal’. How do I take what I’ve learned here, and apply it back home? I guess that’s something only time will tell. Going back home means uncertainty, and that’s something I’ve been scared of since losing my mother 4 ½ years ago. But then again, so was Australia. So my hope, is that once home I’ll be able to make new opportunities, become closer with my family and true friends, and continue to explore my world. And it may take some time to truly conquer it like I did Australia. I have some serious questions to ask myself about my future and my life. But undoubtedly, I will rise back to the top again, wherever my future ends up taking me. I want to keep the lessons I’ve learned here, the confidence I’ve gained and spirit I’ve shined and apply it back where it really matters most. I may not be one hundred percent excited to go back, but whatever happens, Australia will help me build the best me I can be.