We all remember our first college party, the feeling of anticipation hoping to make new friends while enjoying the evening as we look ourselves over in the mirror hoping to give off a good first impression. Now fast-forward a year or so, your socializing gets you a throng of friends and you’ve gone to ‘80’s Night enough times to know every song by heart and you never go alone, but suddenly you are dropped someplace entirely new, with a different culture, people and none of your friends to give you that extra boost of confidence. Meeting new people in Scotland your first time abroad might at first appear challenging, but as long as you be yourself, be confident and are willing to try new things, you can make the transition into the Dundee social scene easy and fun!
When I first arrived in Scotland, I was lucky enough to be traveling with a small group of friends already; and after making more at the airport I realized that meeting people and making connections wasn’t so hard to do. We were going through the same experience of being in a foreign country for three months to a year and something as simple as that is enough to form friendships that not only last the time abroad but forever. Within minutes we were trading contact information and our flat addresses so we knew where we all lived until our computers and international cell phones were set up. No matter who or where you are, having several friends (or even just one good friend) can be enough to make you feel more at home.
As we are centrally located on campus and therefore the most convenient to get to, the flat Sydney, Julie, Lauren and I are living in has become the “de-facto” meeting place if we decide to go out to a pub or club, have a group dinner, travel meeting or just hang out. In fact we have so many people over and get along so well, we have been called “The Cool Flat” by our next door neighbors.
In order to survive mentally and physically abroad, you have to learn to work together. After our first exciting, yet un-nerving night in Scotland, we realized that if we acted more as a team and less as individuals, we could make our lives more comforting and our stay in Dundee exciting and fun. For example, when shopping for our flat we try to go out in either a pair or group. I grocery shop with my other flat mate as we both eat the same foods; so when we do visit the supermarket we buy for the both of us and we each pay half. This not only saves us money, but ensures we don’t buy so much food as to take up space in our refrigerator or cause it to spoil. Likewise with cleaning essentials for our bathrooms and kitchen, we agree to share so we save money individually while helping out the flat as a whole.
The buddy system also works if one or both us is having problems either adjusting to life overseas or with school. Talking about your personal feelings with someone who you can relate to helps and gives a much needed confidence boost. This boost comes in handy especially when you go out to the student night club (or Union). At The Union, you will come face to face with students from around Scotland and the world at large. Everyone flocks to the Union throughout the day as its restaurants and sports bars give the ideal place for students to congregate and unwind from a hard day’s studies. During “Fresher’s Week”; a week long orientation session, the Union is filled to maximum capacity with students socializing in 4 separate bars and dancing the night away at “Mono”; the basement dance club. Speaking as someone who (despite similar experiences at home and a senior in college) felt like a stranger in a strange land, the prospect of going to The Union at first appeared daunting and made me feel like a freshman all over again. Luckily my friends were going as well and in that respect I didn’t feel so bad and just focused on enjoying myself and having fun. The club was loud and packed with people, and I still found it hard to start a conversation with anyone. However some of the people I did approach were very friendly and curious about where I came from, what my “Study” (or major) was, and if I enjoyed Dundee. It was strange being the center of attention all of a sudden, but when you’re the foreigner I suppose everyone is curious to hear your opinions and thoughts. I told them what British television shows i watch and what bands i listen to (most either British or Scottish in origin). It was strange as when I responded to the same questions at home I got quizzical looks and had to explain the band or premise of the show. Here everyone knew what I was talking about, and in thus it was comforting to talk to someone who could relate, despite the fact they were from another country. I finally knew what it must be like to be a study abroad student at New Paltz, some of them were in my classes last semester and I often wondered what it must be like for them to adjust to life in America; this time the roles were reversed.
After my first several nights at the Union, I was still having growing pains but slowly got more confident. Despite the accents, the slang and style of dress, Scottish students are the same as American’s when it comes to socializing with others, if you have enough confidence to walk up to someone, introduce yourself and start a conversation, you will make many friends here. In fact I’ve made a couple of friends just by doing laundry, standing in line at the student run convenience store, and waiting for class. Never underestimate the power of your own self-worth.
However if you are still having trouble meeting people, Dundee offers a variety of clubs and organizations that conform to everyone’s interests. There is an activities fair during Fresher’s Week in which one can join whatever club or sport piques their interest. For example there is a Forensic Anthropology Club, Psychology Club, Music Club, Gaming Club and LGSBT organization in addition to a variety of other groups. These clubs meet regularly and sponsor field trips, dinners, dances and events in which one will get to meet other people with a common interest. My fellow abroad students and I joined several (including The International Students Association and Peer Connections).
The latter group I highly recommend. Peer Connections is run through the International Programs Office at University of Dundee and is a discussion group made of students from around the UK and other countries and helps first year internationals get acclimated to life in Dundee while giving them a place to socialize with other students from around the world. The first time we went to a Peer Connections meeting, my friends and I took two students from Switzerland, one from Lithuania and one from Scotland out to a pub for dinner and then to The Union for drinks and dancing; needless to say they have become regulars at our flat and are the newest members to our “Family”.
As I look back at almost a month abroad, I realize how far I’ve come since those first exciting steps into Edinburgh Airport. Making a fair amount of friends from all over the world and taking part in campus activities has made me feel more than just a student from New York studying in Scotland; I finally feel a part of the campus at Dundee, meeting fellow students for tea at Costa or dinner at a local pub and taking trips with my friends to the many historic castles and sites that dot the area surrounding Dundee and Scotland as a whole. I consider myself no longer a student of SUNY New Paltz, but instead a student at The University of Dundee. If this is what anthropologists have warned against (i.e. “Going Native”) then I fear I have become their most wanted man.